There was a time early on in my motherhood journey where I would bark out orders to my children and even to my husband. This wasn’t when they wouldn’t listen for the umpteenth time, this was during the initial command. You can imagine that situations didn’t have much room or time before they began to escalate to yelling, threats, and punishment. During that season the only thing I taught my children was to be afraid of me.
Because of the two completely different home lives Brett and I had growing up we never seemed to agreed on a way to discipline. We would cycle around to the conversation, are we disciplining the right way, every couple of months. Neither one of us were confident in what we were doing, and we were looking to the other to affirm us that we were doing it right.
I noticed a trend in my life of God using books in away to get me to look at things from a different perspective. This is one of the reasons why you will always find reading recommendations from me at the bottom of each of my posts. In this instance, I don’t remember how it happened, but somehow “Loving Your Kids On Purpose” by Danny Silk made it’s way into my hands. After sharing bits and pieces of it with Brett we started to read through it together.
The biggest game changer for Brett and I that we got from “Loving Your Kids On Purpose” was; the way we interact with our children is in direct correlation to how we perceive how God interacts with us. To break it down for you this meant that I believed that God was angry at me, was harsh with me, disappointed in me, punished me for every mistake I made, that I had to earn His love, and to earn His blessings. So this is how I treated my children and essentially everyone else.
When I first realized this about myself I was ashamed. Here I was doing ministry and this was the way I perceived God. But now, as I have come out on the other side, I know that I was not alone in the way I perceived God. In fact, there are any number of people out there that still believe that this is who God is. As a side note to today's post I am here to tell you that this is not who God is. He is patient with us, He is gentle with us, He is not yelling down from His throne at us. He has no interest in shaming you. He is saying it is ok, shake it off, and give it another try, He is saying I love you, I am proud of you, and I love spending time with you. I know you are going to be great! If you don’t know God in this way, I encourage you to ask Him to reveal Himself to you. I guarantee you He will.
Getting to know God for who He really is and says He is, not who the world says He is, has changed how I speak to everyone, especially my children. I still have my moments, we all do. But the Lord has transformed me from being a foolish woman who tears down her house with her own hands to being a wise woman who builds up her house.
Do you believe God wants to build you up? Do you believe God is for you? Do you want to be like the wise woman who builds up her home? Ask God and He will answer you.
Some awesome resources!
Foundation of Character: Bearing Good Fruit enables busy families to build Godly character as they learn about and obtain the Fruits of the Spirit. Providing them with a home and a life filled with Love, Joy, and Peace.
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