People think hospitality consists only of the mundanity of cooking, cleaning, laundry and repeat. But oh no, it is so much more than this! It is creating an atmosphere charged with power to speak and give life, unlocking and drawing forth who people really are. It is creating a safe haven, a place where people want to retreat, retire, and return to after encountering the harsh cold world of competition outside the front door. Hospitality gives us an opportunity to be the cup of cool water to the least of these.
When a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? When you have no visitors in your home, is it filled with hospitality?
I pose a similar question on week two of Foundation Of Character to my children. I ask them; “If we are supposed to practice hospitality every day, how do we do it on days when we have no visitors?” The answer, and my not so hidden agenda for them, is of course to show hospitality to their family members. Honestly, it was the original reason for engaging my children in this curriculum before it was ever a curriculum. I was so desperate for my children to get along and treat each other with kindness. To be hospitable to one another!
Practicing hospitality to one another without grumbling.
When I think back to those desperate days, I recall living by an illogical ideal; the cleanliness of my house was directly linked to my ability to be a good wife and parent. The cleaner the house, the more successful I deemed myself to be. By this time I had 3 children under the age of 4, and I was very aware of the fact, I was floundering. In addition I was not a full time stay at home mom yet. I ran my own dance school and co-directed 3 plays a year at the local high school. During this season we were rarely together as a family in our home. When I was home I was consumed with cleaning. I was going crazy! And I was certainly not practicing hospitality without grumbling. In fact it seemed, all I did was grumble. I thought, what happened to me? I used to be fun, full of energy, creative, and joyful? Then it hit me, I was living by someone else's standards instead of my own. The result was, not getting the things I wanted out of my life. In fact I was starting to resent my life, my children, my husband and our home.
I turned and clung to the Lord. I really had to. The desire to flee was very strong in my being and the enemy was jeering me on. In that season I remember vividly being in our home office and praying “God, turn my heart towards my children, let me have my children's hearts. I don't want to be the one who breaks up and destroy our family unit.” (Malachi 4:6)
And He did. He saved our family. Shortly after, God began to reveal to me the power of parenthood. I began to see value in the very thing I was trying to escape.
The basic definition of hospitality I give to my children is to use all you have to show love to others. I began to use what I had, our home, to show love to my family instead of trying to show the world I have it all together. I started putting people first and things second. Instead of being distracted by the clutter, the mess, the dust, and the windows. I focused on being available, attentive and excited with my children about the new discoveries they were making daily. Yes, I would get to maintaining the house all in good time. But for now my purpose is to create a home.
Looking back and knowing my eldest is now 9 years old, and half way through our home, I am glad I set my gaze at her and her sibling's faces instead of the chore list. There will always be time for cleaning, but our time with our spouses and our children are ever fleeting.
Looking back and knowing my eldest is now 9 years old, and half way through our home, I am glad I set my gaze at her and her sibling's faces instead of the chore list. There will always be time for cleaning, but our time with our spouses and our children are ever fleeting.
Do you want to shake off the world's ideals? Here are some books that helped me in my journey.
Our Foundation Of Character Series
Foundation of Character: Bearing Good Fruit enables busy families to build Godly character as they learn about and obtain the Fruits of the Spirit. Providing them with a home and a life filled with Love, Joy, and Peace.
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