In the west the Art of Hospitality is truly a lost art. The other day I overheard someone exclaim, “You want to have us over for dinner? I thought that wasn’t a thing in Minnesota!”
First let's take a step back and look at what it means to have the Art Of Hospitality. To have the ability to be “generous and friendly towards visitors and guests or to have hospitable treatment.” Hospitable means: friendly and welcoming to strangers or guests.
If you have ever had the opportunity to travel internationally, especially in the euro Asia and Arab worlds you will experience the Art of Hospitality. I have recently heard a story from a friend of ours about a time he was in an Asian country. He was walking down the street alone to a restaurant to prepare a table for himself and his guest, along the way he passed 7 or 8 other restaurants. From each restaurant he passed he had several people call out to him inviting him to join them, because they did not want him to be and eat alone. This is a great example of hospitality in the East.
I have a few theories as to why we have lost the Art Of Hospitality.
We are all simply too busy. If you don’t have children you are most likely too busy with advancing your career. If you do have kids you are most likely too busy juggling everyone's activities calendars. We don’t have enough time to make dinner for our own families, let alone adding someone else's is completely out of the question. We are more likely to swing thru a drive through for a quick dinner on our way to wherever it is we are in such a hurry to get to.
No nation wide common culture. We don’t even have a statewide common culture. We are made up of so many subcultures, and now with culture being a real thing people are rather isolated, than to gather. They do share with the “safety” of social media but this again has drawn people apart rather than gathering them together.
We have lost our delight in community. Yes we DO have communities we are part of. We have our work community which we don’t desire to spend more time with outside of the work space. We have our fellow sports parents who we tolerate at practices and games. And we have our extended families that we most likely will complain about once they have left. We don’t take delight in spending time with these people because we feel obligated to be with them, instead of counting it as a blessing like we should
Now I know the above statement seems harsh and raw, and I know it’s not true for everyone. It’s not true for us, but it is very accurate generally speaking. Our prof, if you look back to the beginning of the Covid pandemic, people were actually saying statements like “How am I going to survive being trapped with my family? “ The divorcee rate in the U.S alone increased by a whopping 34%.
It might appear that we are a society that likes to be isolated, but studies show that depression and suicide are on the rise because of loneliness.
So how do we fix it? How do we as a society decrease the rising numbers of divorcee, depression and suicide.
The first step is switching that “we” to” me.” When we say we as a society we most likely are looking to someone else to fix it. An organization, non profit, or yet another website. When we replace “ we” with an “I” the statement changes significantly giving the speaker power to affect change. How do I fix it? I know the numbers are overwhelming, but there is something you can do. Your little goes a long way. Your small act of kindness multiples faster than you think.
I want to challenge you to change the course of our society by practicing the Art of Hospitality. Here is how to get started in 2 simple steps once you start doing these 2 things, expanding your Hospitality expertise will come with ease.
1. Start with the people you live with
Set aside one night a week where you and those whom you live in the same home with, sit down around the dinner table. Eat and talk with each other, banning all devices.Simply ask each other about your day. Here are 2 great questions to get you started. What did you love about today? And What did you learn?
2.Grow your circle
Choose a second day of the week where you invite an individual or another family over to join you for a meal. To make it simpler you can even order in. Try to not worry about what your home looks like if you need a little coaching in this area check out our blog post titled Sanctuary or Your Home Isn't A Museum If you need conversation topics to get the ball rolling check out this link Reclaim The Table .
I truly believe if we start with being intentional with what we can control, ourselves, we can make society as a whole a little brighter. And remember kindness is contagious.
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