Sanctuary

Before I became a realtor, I was a stay at home, homeschooling mom. One day while I was reading a book called The Life Giving Home by Sally Clarkson, I had a revelation. And I believe that it might have been a revelation a lot of people have had over the past 2 years.

My home is a sanctuary. For my husband a place of retreat from the daily grind. For my children a place of safety from all that society is hurling at them. For me a place where I can just be free to be me. There are so many pressures from the outside world that push on us, or stretch us into an uncomfortable state. I am not saying these things are bad. In fact, these things make us stronger, they help us grow. However, we can’t live in those stretching, pressure-filled places all the time. If we did we would break.

In coming to this revelation I set my intention on making my home a sanctuary for my family and all who enter.

I have had friends and strangers come into my home and say oh it is so peaceful here. Which is kind of a wonder since we have 6 kids. One of my favorite comments of late. A new friend's son, who had never been in our home before said, “OH, this feels like home!” as soon as he walked in the door.

So how do you make your home into a sanctuary? The first step is getting a clearer understanding of what the word sanctuary really means. If you were to look it up, here are some of the definitions you would find:

a place where someone or something is protected or given shelter

the protection that is provided by a safe place

a refuge for wildlife where predators are controlled and hunting is illegal

When we understand what a sanctuary is, we begin to recognize what needs to be restricted from the sanctuary so that it is able to remain a sanctuary. Let’s look at the 3rd bullet point. If you have children this will be easier to grasp. Has there ever been a time where one of your children poke and prod at their siblings? Have you noticed that in those moments it seems like irritability comes and peace disappears. This is what happens in a wildlife sanctuary when illegal hunters get on the inside.

Creating a space that everyone can enjoy, takes everyone’s participation. What I am about to say, to some, might be obvious, but to others might be revelatory. Everyone in your imitate family is on the same team. Because, we at the Pollard Tribe, understand this truth. We are constantly reminding our children of this fact by invoking a safe or room rule. If you are not safe to be around you will need to go to your room until you are.

Another piece of this is to understand that the sanctuary was created for its inhabitants, the inhabitants were not created for the sanctuary. It is about protecting and giving each other a certain quality of life. This is what makes a home feel like a sanctuary. It’s where the people in the sacred space have each other's hearts in mind. Have you ever heard the phrase “Home is where the heart is.”

We found these concepts to be true on a trip to Texas during the polar vortex in 2021. We stayed in a lot of VRBO’s and hotels and spent hours in the car. Even so, wherever we were it felt like we were home. This brought us to the conclusion that it’s not about the space, but about the people you share the space with.

The point I am trying to make is in order to make our homes a sanctuary, we must put people 1st, and things 2nd. When we put people first, we start to live differently. We start to live with purpose.

For example: We pick up the house before company comes, not because we want them to think we have it all together. We pick up the house so we have a clean table to serve them at and bring comfort to them. To give them a space to let down their guard they were holding up when they were in the outside world. It allows them to take a deep breath in the place of respite you have created for them. It also gives you the ability to be present with them and engage with them in the stories of their life instead of being distracted by what you think, they think, of all your stuff.

What it all boils down to is the posture of our hearts.

Our goal is not performance, our goal is to care for others.

The difference between a house and a home is:

a house has a lot of beautiful stuff, a home has a beautiful atmosphere.